My recent readings for first quarter of 2020

Economically ineffective year 2020 affected majority of the people globally and changed their life style mainly leaving them unemployed. That affected me as well, and I lost my job for one month. That has urged me to convert “economically ineffective” period to “productive for personal development” one. Although I thought it is going to be more than a month (that was what I hoped for just only my personal improvement) it ended quite soon, considering the fact I wasted most of it playing computer games or perusing social media. The activities of this period are the content of maybe some other post.

My plans included to recover my reading hobby as well, so the first day of so-called “quarantine” I finished “A man’s search of meaning” by Victor Frankl which I started half a year ago, when Belgian traveler gifted it to me in Azerbaijani language. I could express neither my preference to reading self-chosen books (or at least recommended) nor my dislike of translated books. Instead, I accepted and thanked her for her kind jest.

This woman (Kathleen) was a long distance traveler; her roadtrip in a Mercedes caravan has began from Belgium made U-turn in Kyrgyzstan and returned to Belgium in one year and half, if I remember correctly. She was a psychiatrist and she said when she was young this book intrigued her to choose that profession. This mere fact has led my interest to reading the book. 

The main part of the book is memories of psychiatrist in Auschwitz extermination and labor camp. If I replace the word “memories” with “suffering”, It would be more correct. To me, this book gives the idea of “If you have something you really love or an aim to accomplish, you will survive regardless of anything. The desire, or let’s call it love feeds human’s will and makes him to endure all the sufferings, starving, cold, hard labor and so on”. I forgot to emphasize that this book is writer’s memoir, who survived 4 different nazi camps between 1942-1945. 

The memoir has extremely sad moments, or should I say that all the pages has capacity to make you depressed once you start reading. Adding my reluctant attitude to simultaneously live in this world and the world of any book, it become difficult for me to go on with the book for the long while. What makes this work special is the author is survivor and at the end, there is salvation for him. But could you call it the happy ending, after he realizes all his family members died?! I don’t know, maybe life is still beautiful, and there are people out there whose life can be motivated by your stories. Probably, because the world got victory over another poisonous ideology, and your book of memories can make the world better place, adding common value to the victims and survivors. I don’t know what would I do if I were be in position of the character (the author). But sometimes, when life gets me downs, not physically, of course, but emotionally I can interconnect some moments. Let’s say drop from the pool and it is not easy to keep your motivation up. 

After the story ends, the book goes on with short philosophical drama “Synchronisation in Birkenwald” which I liked a lot, but I’m not in position to comment it, due to my insufficient knowledge of philosophy and events going on that drama.

As I said above, I’m a slow reader, and for me the ideal condition for reading is to be apart from this mundane world to concentrate on literary universe happening inside of a little book that I hold on my hand. I didn’t set a goal at all, but finishing today the third book for 2020 (actually all in last month) set me satisfied with my progress. I jumped to the Goodreads, and added my books, and set a goal for 12 books in 2020 (each per months). I don’t know if I will be able to accomplish it but for now it makes me feel productive.

Another book that I bought last year, but couldn’t open was Haruki Murakami’s half-memoir: “What I talk about when I talk about running”. The name comes from Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”. An interesting name. Murakami has been my most favorite writer since freshman year when I first started his “Norwegian Wood”. This is the times when I switched from “reading famous and interesting works” to “reading works that I feel sympathy for”. The change of my “choice behavior” affected lots of my decisions especially choosing movies. I’m not sure whether I follow this strategy today or not, nowadays my life lacks strategy and bases on values to make decisions.

I have a friend who thinks the same way about Murakami. He is different from all, mainly because of sympathy we feel for the way his characters think.  He is also terrific at creating alternative reality in his books, but this is not what attracts me most. Despite I consider him literary king, this is just his fifth book I’m finishing. Sputnik Sweetheart, 1Q84 and “Kafka on the shore” was the others.

I call it half-memoir because it is mainly concentrated on the memories of his running trainings, competitions, and a little bit on his writings. He interconnects his two lifetime hobbies (or should I say lifestyle?) running and writing. He emphasizes that if he wouldn’t run during his lifetime he could have been ended up an exhausted writer who no longer is able to attract readers. 

When I got this book, I had no information weather it is a fiction, interview or memoir (yes, I have this kind of weirdness that I believe if I investigate too much, I will end up not wanting it anymore, or its surprise will be vanished). At first, I didn’t believe that whole book can be about just running. The book consists of 9 chapters (each about 20 pages) which covers his memories with chronological order over trainings for particular competitions. It helps to reader like me to be able to set start and finish points on his reading sessions. I got bored at the beginning, because who would want to read a whole book about running, especially if you are not a long-distance runner?!

Though, at the end I had a lot of highlighted text and I find it is not particularly against my “reading works that I feel sympathy for” strategy. I believe I can relate whatever Murakami writes to my life, as his works are interconnected somehow. Even putting himself as the main character of this particular book, it doesn’t make a lot of difference in his style. I don’t mean it is monotonous or boring, I think the other way round. Let’s say I read Norwegian Wood and I like it a lot, I want to read similar works that can be from different writers and different style. For me what matters more is the sympathy I felt, I don’t want to lose that peak. I open another book by Murakami and somehow I’m able to find same satisfaction mainly because of the sympathy. I don’t know, years are changing me and maybe after some time I will be unable to find exact same contentment, but until now it suits me perfectly well.

One more thing I must add and acknowledge this book affected me so much that I started running daily until the strict quarantine commenced.

180 pages. Started on 18.03.2020. Finished 06.04.2020.

I don’t know why, but I consider this information highly important to note. I update it to my Goodreads account. I don’t care anymore about facebook or Instagram legacy, but I think portals like Goodreads and IMDB should preserve registered accounts for at least 200 years. Even if we will die and our lives will be not important for anyone on the earth some part of me can stay here. So, about 100 years later, some random google user mistakenly opens my review of any book and sees this person has lived on the earth and probably this dude has been romantic enough to read these books and most certainly he felt plenty of emotions during his lifetime reading all these unique list of books. Noted or unnoted, everyone has their own unique list of books, movies, songs, wines, cigarettes and etc. All these items shape the personality of that particular human-being. And if I have to stay in this world as a ghost, this is how I want it to be.

Third book which I want to write about is “Nicotine” from Nell Zink. I purchased this book also last year from a bookstore for 30.50 AZN which is quite high compared to other more famous classics (or is it just what I think?!).  This is another self-chosen book, as you might guess, I used to know absolutely nothing about writer or the book. What attracted me was the design of the book, resembling my that time favorite tobacco brand – Marlboro. When I started to read (few days ago), I said “Finally, a fiction!”. I really missed reading novels as I didn’t read any during last two years.

I find no sympathy for the characters at all, however, “despite the unruly plot” I enjoyed the book and I spend more hours per day to read this book than any other books of this year. Typical American lifestyle which I desired to have when I was teen attacted me most at this book. So, there is something that I can relate to my life, isn’t it?

Different things develop, and thus everybody’s life changes in the book, so what else can I expect from a novel. At least, it was a fun at the end and it didn’t gave me another trauma or turn out any bad memory in my mind. On the contrary, it raised my anarchist soul. It is good to know there are some people who doesn’t obey to the system and try to change its cons.

288 pages. Started: 7 April 2020. Finished 13 April 2020.  




#book, #bookreview #HarukiMurakami #VictorFrankl #Nell Zink